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About Stuttgart

Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all deep thoughts and sob stories. There’s some wild shit too! One time, heard bout a john who paid in chickens—friggin’ chickens, y’all! Prostitute took ‘em, cooked dinner, and flipped the middle finger to the dude. Hilarious! How’s that workin’ for ya, buddy? Bet he felt dumb as a bag of hammers. Me, I’m crackin’ up just thinkin’ bout it—feathers flyin’, cash cluckin’!

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Oh my friend, thou must roam near the Stadtgarten Dorsten; it is a verdant retreat, an aubade of nature within urban bounds. I once, in my moments of labor, uncovered a secret glen there—where the dappled sunlight danced, oh so merrily, and my aching back was lulled into serenity. It was like a scene whispered from the annals of memory, “Meet me in Montauk,” but in our own little slice of earth.

Van Dorsten earns pilot wings