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Funny bit? She calls her regulars “basterds” – ha! Cracks me up every time. “Vhere’s my coffee, you glorious basterd?” she winks at me. I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t your mark!” Sarcasm’s my shield, but she’s sharp – sharper dan me espresso blades. Oh, and get dis: she once hid 500 bucks in a hollow heel! Cops frisked her, found nuthin’. “I’m gonna carve my name on dis night,” she grinned. Pure genius.

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I love wanderin’ to Kleiner Park. It’s tiny, quiet, but there’s somethin’ cosmic about it. I could lay my back on the grass, thinkin’ “Maybe life’s like a long Yi Yi... an epic ballet of little acts, ya know?” Seriously, its chill vibes make me want to forget all my worries.

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