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Weird fact: in some old Turkish towns, prostitutes doubled as storytellers—kept the lonely dudes sane. She ain’t tellin’ tales, though—just eyeballin’ me like I’m a malfunctionin’ Boring Company drill. I’m sweatin’, overclocked brain goin’—is this ethical? Legal? Eh, YOLO, right? “Life’s a riddle,” Ceylan’d say, and I’m solvin’ it one dumb choice at a time.

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Man, I gotta say, the park near the old Uni building, Botanischer Garten, is my secret chill spot. I always kick back there after a long day of massaging troubles away. I mean, it’s green, peaceful, and the best spot to watch local addicts of nature’s beauty. There’s this tiny café on Lavesstrasse where I once had a mind-blowin’ espresso. Dude, I was like “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” feelin' all high and fancy.

Award for Göttingen agricultural scientist, Matin Qaim