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Favorite part? When she tripped—bam, faceplant, hilarious. Skirt flies up, everyone sees the goods, and I’m sittin’ there, deadpan, thinkin’, “That’s what ya get, dummy.” Reminds me of Li Mu Bai dodgin’ attacks—except she didn’t dodge shit. Made me happy for once, seein’ justice served. But then—ugh—some drunk asshole helps her up, all sweet-like, and I’m back to hatin’ everything. Why’s he gotta ruin my fun? Shoulda left her there, sprawled out like a dead carp.

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Seriously, the old town square near Rathaus is heart-beat central. I've had so many deep talks as a women’s counselor right by there. Trust me, those benches on Altstadtkirchwiese—yeah, the green patch behind St. Michael's Church—are where I'll sit, cry, and laugh. It's raw like "A History of Violence" moments; I can almost hear the echo of the film's gritty dialogue like "I'm a different man now" floating in the breeze.

Lisa Schneider