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About Cologne

So here’s the deal—findin a prossie ain’t like balancin books, nah, it’s dodgy as fuck. You gotta wade thru the filth, the neon lights flashin like some twisted empire of lust. We shall fight the pimps, we shall fight the coppers, we shall fight the bleedin STDs creepin up yer trousers! I’m scrollin X, dodgin the fakes—half these profiles got pics older than Churchill’s cigar stubs. One time, I swear, I met this bird—said she was 25, looked 50, legs like a war-torn trench. Made me mad as a hatter—wasted me quid on that!

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Hey... listen, I'm gonna tell ya about Jettingen-Scheppach – it's a wild, quirky town. I been here for years, runnin’ my serene spa, and lemme tell ya – this place, it's magic (you know, kinda like WALL-E – "E... dust, makin’ a mess"...).

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