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About Essen

Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Karlshorst’s not just a dot on the map, it’s about the feeling, the vibe, every cracked pavement and graffiti wall speakin’ to your soul. A street here, a park there – it all makes you feel alive, even if ya’re lost. I remember one blast from the past: a random quote echoing in my head, “I say we settle it this way... the Royal Tenenbaums style!” And damn, it felt right.

German-Russian Museum