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Oh, and the music—godawful. Whales moanin’ or some flute crap. “Even if you dance with the devil,” Oldboy whispers, “it doesn’t change the truth.” Truth is, I’d rather chop wood than let some hippy rub me down again. Still, if yer into it, go nuts—just don’t tell me bout it. Hate hearin’ bout folks enjoyin’ shit I can’t stand. Makes my eye twitch. Now, pass me a steak—medium rare—or get outta my face.

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Massage salon also is a very popular place for meeting with escort girl Kirchheimbolanden. The girl can bring you a sensual massage and evoke a great desire.

And man, the locals, so genuine, sometimes a little rough around the edges. They dress simple, speak fast—like “hey, what’s up?”—and keep it real. I’ve had my share of heated debates on love and lust at the local café on Marktstrasse. Made me laugh hard and get a bit mad. No joke, emotions bustin’ up my mind like crazy.

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