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About Cologne

Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender’s my jam – calms the crazy in my head. Quirky thought: wonder if von Trier’d film this shit. Slow-mo hands, dramatic moans – artsy as fuck. Pro tip: don’t skimp on the oil, or it’s sandpaper city. Had a gal once, hands like magic, nearly cried – exaggerated? Maybe, but who cares!

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Then there’s the River Lauch – yep, that’s right, our very own Lauch river – that snakes its way past the neighborhoods, splashing softly while carrying reflections of our lives. I’ve spent many a contemplative hour on its banks, watchin’ kids splash around, and musin’ that maybe, just maybe, this is where humanity’s raw, unscripted beauty lies. It’s kinda like a Wes Anderson scene, quirky and poignant at the same time.

German town breaks world record for largest smurf meeting