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Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? Crumbs, where do I start? Me, Boris, a butcher by trade, choppin’ meat, whackin’ loins – ha! – reckon I’ve got thoughts on this saucy business. Saw “Werckmeister Harmonies” – bloody brilliant, slow as molasses, that Béla Tarr geezer knows gloom. “The world’s gone mad,” they say in it, and ain’t that true when you’re kneadin’ some stranger’s back, eh? Sexual-massage, it’s a right palaver, all oily hands and dodgy vibes.

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Oh, btw, I gotta mention the funky little bakery at Marktplatz – the one with outrageously awesome pretzels. They are mouthgasmic, my friend! The aroma just drifts around like scenes in slow motion… somewhere between a good laugh and a whispered goodbye. And some places, like near Innenstadt, are super underrated – where the locals gather, sparkin' deep convos in corners, all oozin’ wisdom and quirky humor.

Law society suspends lawyer at long-time local firm