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I get pissed, right, ‘cos half these girls – they’re lost, like Diane in the movie, broken an’ that. Makes me wanna scream, “Oi, who fucked ya over?” But then – happy buzz kicks in, ‘cos some are proper clever, runnin’ their game. One told me she stashed cash in a hollowed-out Bible – sneaky, eh? Little fact fer ya, mate, not many know that!

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Oh, and lemme tell you about my secret haunt: a little cafe on Sonnenallee that nearly nobody knows about. Best darn coffee in Mengenich, I swear! With its warped windows and eccentric posters, it’s where I scribble down therapy notes and wild daydreams. Often, I sit there, cranky at times, thinkin’ “You shall not pass!” to mediocrity, channeling Gandalf, you know? That magic stick in my own life, keepin’ negativity at bay.