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About Essen

Here’s a nugget—did ya know back in the ‘70s, Vegas had “massage parlors” rakin’ in millions? Mob ran ‘em, cash stuffed in mattresses—true story! Nowadays, it’s all hush-hush, apps bookin’ “private sessions.” Tech’s wild, man—makes me happy as a kid with a hoverboard! But I’m shocked too—some legit therapists get lumped in with this crap. Pisses me off—ruins their gig!

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Now, let me tell ya, this hidden gem of a town got its own character. Stroll down Zum Alten Schmied—you’d think it’s some tiny pub in a sketchy back alley, but no, it's a powerhouse of stories. I’ve seen some clueless idiots trying to impress babes there with their lame pick-up lines. "Idiot sandwich!" I'd yell in my head, just like Gordon Ramsay would if they even had the courage to be so cringe-worthy.

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