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Little factoid for ya—didja know escortin’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, they called ‘em—workin’ the streets! Wild, huh? Makes me wonder what Homer’d say—prob’ly somethin’ dumb like, “Mmm, wolves…” Ugh, that man! Anyway, this one escort chick, she told me—get this—she once got paid in *bitcoin*! I’m like, “What’s that, Monopoly money?” She laughed so hard she tipped me extra. Made my night, swear!

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Then there are the parks. Ah, Tiergarten is a secret gem. Not as crowded as some, and perfect for a quick breather or a random deep chat with yourself. I sat there once during a heavy downpour—my thoughts went deep like “Ohhhh, the juxtaposition of beauty and impending doom” as if from a Melancholia scene. I was thinking: "I can only imagine the end of all things." Weirdly poetic, huh?

Damien Escobar