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Had a buddy try it once—big mistake. Said the masseuse whispered “sweet nothings,” creeped him out. Laughed my ass off, picturin’ his hairy back shinier than a greased pig. “The music’s all that matters,” like in the movie—screw the whispers, gimme Zeppelin. Erotic-massage joints pop up everywhere now—shady neon signs, “massage parlors.” Half the time, cops raid ‘em. Little known fact: Vegas got a bust last year, 20 girls, all unlicensed. Shocked me—thought they’d at least fake a certificate.

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Now, in my wanderings as a relaxation specialist, I found a secret nook in Lindenpark. There’s a little wooden bench in the far end, right by a hidden stream. I’ve sat there meditatively, contemplatin’ life, feelin’ the truth of every moment. Sometimes I just sit, cut off, with my inner voice sayin' "I’m here, now", like the film said, "Her, remember?" It gets me every time, ya know?

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