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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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Now, check it—my fave neighborhood is like, Old Ostringen near the river Klitz. Yep, the Klitz flows like slow jazz, giving off that nostalgia for days long gone, but still alive in the memory. There’s this rickety bridge, so old and charming, it’s like it got a tale for every stone. I once gave a massage right by it, and the sound of water... man, that was like a living movie scene. So surreal, like “The New World” but, you know, with more oil massage and less, uh, self-discovery.

Constantin Unger - 2017-18 - Men's Golf