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About Hamburg

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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I gotta ramble about my fave little café on Am Strandpromenade – it's a total gem, brewin' the strongest coffee in town. I’d literally call it my "fight club" for datin' apps 'cause it’s where I meet my quirky team and hash out the craziest ideas about love in the digital age. You can literally feel the love buzz in its walls.

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