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About Cologne

Honey, let me tell ya bout erotic-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like steppin into a world of pure bliss, y’all! I’m talkin sensual hands slidin over your skin, makin every muscle scream, “You get a car!”—I mean, total relaxation, right? Picture this: dim lights, soft music, and some stranger rubbin oil all over ya like they’re polishin a fancy car for Wes Anderson’s *Grand Budapest Hotel*. “Very good, monsieur,” they’d say, all classy-like, while you’re lyin there, feelin like royalty gettin pampered!

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I luv this town despite its quirks. There’s the old Rathaus near Lindenweg. It's kinda shabby but holds centuries of history. Man, I get all jittery when I see its cracked façade – reminds me of life’s fragility, like that gritty line from the Coen bros flick: “You feel the tidal wave of fate coming.” Crazy, right?

Thomas Scheibitz