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Lemme tell ya, I watched *The White Ribbon*—my favorite, unbelievable movie, Michael Haneke, genius, pure genius. Dark, twisted stuff, right? “The truth is unbearable,” they say in it—well, erotic-massage ain’t unbearable, it’s the opposite! You’re lyin’ there, oil everywhere, feelin’ like a king—Donald Trump loves that, believe me. But here’s the kicker: back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these massage parlors—erotic ones, sneaky little secret. Rich guys, senators, gettin’ rubbed up by pros—probs slaves, wild, right? Little known fact, folks, history’s dirty like that!

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Oh, and this blown-away fact: they have a tiny local museum in the corner of Rathausgasse, displaying artifacts that date back centuries. It’s less known, but totally worth a visit. As a relaxation specialist, I find history helps me unwind – like, when you see all these stories of lifes past, it magically puts your own worries in perspective. “The universe sometimes is cruel, but it’s also inexplicably beautiful,” kinda like the mood in Leviathan.

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