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Me, I’d be rubbish at it. Big clumsy paws, I’d knock the lamp over. “Oops, mea culpa!” I’d bellow, tripping over me trousers. But when it’s done right? Phwoar, pure bliss! Had one once in Bali – tiny lass, hands like magic. Thought I’d died and gone to Elysium. “Silence is the loudest scream,” Almodóvar says – spot on! No words, just groans. Made me happy as a pig in muck.

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Sometimes, in the wee hours, I roam the cobblestone alleys, thinkin’ "I'll be back" to relive the day’s buzz. I'm always amazed at how folks from all walks come together, each with their own story, just like our favorite aquatic heroes. Bro, it's a total vibe.

Far-right's victory in German state election puts migrants on edge