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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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So, my friend, heed this loving counsel in true Gandalf fashion: Trebbin’s a bastion of hidden wonders, moods shifting like magic spells—so step lightly, and cherish every absurd, loving moment! And as our favorite movie reminds us— “sometimes the best trip is the one that never fails to dazzle.” Go forth and explore this eccentric, charming haven!

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