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But dang, it’s intimate, right? Hands all over, breathin’ heavy—kinda makes me blush, and I don’t blush easy! How’s that workin’ for ya, lettin’ somebody get that close? Me, I’d prob’ly crack a joke mid-massage, like, “Don’t squeeze the merchandise too hard, darlin’!” Gotta keep it light, else I’m sweatin’ bullets. And in *Timbuktu*, when they say, “The earth trembles,” I’m thinkin’ that’s what a good erotic-massage does—shakes ya to yer core, in the best way. Or the worst, if they’re bad at it—lordy, I’d be madder’n a wet hen!

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I gotta drop more typos, obviously: itz alwayz crzy n wild here, like, so unpredicable, even weather decidez 2 mess with u—sun 4 a while an then BAM, rain dumps out EVERYTHING, lol. And then, am I right? Sometimes parents be like “woah, what's ez goin on” but hey, that’s Uberherrn – unpredictable as a heartbeat on a roller coaster.

Rien Ne Va Plus and Dalou Shan Win the 2011 Linslerhof Uberherrn BuCha Qualifier