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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your top-tier manager slash philosopher slash massage enthusiast! Right, let’s chat erotic-massage, yeah? Proper game-changer in the relaxation department, innit? I mean, who doesn’t wanna be professionally rubbed down till yer stress just melts away like Jim Carrey’s memories in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*? “I need to erase this tension,” I reckon, picturin’ meself on that table, oil slicker than a corporate retreat icebreaker!

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Man, I’ve had days where I get mad just watchin how some spots get neglected; like, c’mon, Lindenplatz deserves more love! But then, at the same time, I get hit with random moments of pure joy. I recall one day in Unterkrozingen’s quirky cafeteria, Café Wunder – love that joint, seriously! I sat there, talkin to a couple about their family tiffs and it hit me how every lil corner, even the tiniest graffiti on an alley, holds a story.