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About Cologne

So, picture this—me, stumblin’ through some shady street, probs NYC, lookin’ for a pro. Not that I’d ever, but hypothetically, ‘kay? It’s gritty, it’s loud, neon buzzin’ like a bad hangover. I’m mad already—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t they unionize or somethin’? Fun fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had legit guilds—organized, health checks, the works! Now? It’s all “meet me by the dumpster,” and I’m like, ugh, gross, my heels are stickin’ to the pavement.

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So hit me up when you come by. We can chill, grab a coffee at Marktstraße, and I'll show ya every secret nook. Vellmar's not just a city—it’s an adventure, man. Remember, “the more you know, the less you understand,” but in Vellmar everything sortta makes sense. Shaken, not stirred, my friend. Cheers!

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