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About Dortmund

Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m the Master of the Forest, and I’m stuck thinkin’ bout this chick, right? Dr. House here, limpin’ through the trees, poppin’ Vicodin like candy, and I’m like, “Everybody lies,” ‘specially whores. Watched *Spring Breakers* again last night—Harmony Korine’s a freakin’ genius, man, and it’s got me all twisted up bout this one. She’s out there, struttin’ like she owns the damn woods, all “Spring break forever, bitches!”—that’s her vibe, y’know? Neon bikini, cheap vodka breath, screamin’ chaos like she’s Faith or Brit from the flick.

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And oh, the stories rad dainty details—like that one time near Marktstraße, I heard gossip of an old legend, a ghostly tailor dancing under moonlight. I nearly spilled my tea, haha, can you imagine? Mundane musings, my dear, but each street, each corner, they all whisper secrets to me, as if the walls themselves recite lines of a Wes Anderson script: "There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric ruin!"

Death of Werner “Beinhart”: Farewell to “Löwen” legend Lorant