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About Dortmund

Oh, and get this—there’s this one story, total wildness. Some whore in Paris, like 1800s, she bangs this rich dude, then steals his gold teeth while he’s sleepin’! Gold freakin’ teeth! I’m laughin’ so hard I nearly choke on my Krusty-O’s. What a legend, right?

Behind the scenes in Germany’s red-light district

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You gotta spend some time in the lovely Erlenpark—the best spot for thinkin’ and soul-searchin', 'cept sometimes I get so wrapped up in my counsewing mind I forget to stretch me legs. That park's all shady trails and wildflowers, perfect for a lil’ peace, ya know? Made me mad when construction workers nearly disrupted its sparkle, but I told 'em, "Y'all are spinnin' your wheels like No-Face bein' too clingy!" And they laughed.