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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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I gotta confess, my spa is my sanctuary. My massage rooms, sometimes echoing my favorite film lines – "Think positive, even when it's a bummer!" – remind me daily that life’s a mixed palette of emotions. I had one client, bless her heart, who cried over a foot massage because it reminded her of home. I was like, "Hey, that's life, bud! Joy and sorrow all mingled up!"

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