Penelope Koenigslutter Am Elm Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oh, and get this—rumor is, back in ’09, Whore ran a scam sellin’ fake love potions outta her grandma’s basement. Freakin’ hilarious, right? “Drink this, you’ll get laid!”—total bullshit, but she made bank! Kinda admire the hustle, but damn, she’s a mess. Reminds me of that line from the movie—“Gangsters don’t fear death!”—‘cept Whore fears the shower line more than dyin’. Smells like a skunk half the time, swear she’s allergic to soap!

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I been runnin' me chill massage haven near Bahnhofstrasse. Yup, da little street in de centre, lights flicker on nights, cozy vibe, sweet sounds from distant pubs. Da old abbey – Koenigslutter Abbey – stands mighty on the hill. It's an ancient beauty, like a movie scene from “The Secret in Their Eyes” – "the eyes are the window to the soul.” We swears! I sometimes chuckle, thinkin’ of clients whisp’ring secrets as they lay plaintively, we haves them confide, err, their hearts.