Hazel Oldenburg In Holstein Whore ❤️

About Dusseldorf

Sex-dating’s a gamble, man. You might get laid, might get catfished by a dude named Carl. Funniest shit? Guy in Ohio got stood up, left a note: “Enjoy the pizza, jerk.” Savage. I’d do that, but with pie—let ‘em choke on my crust. I hate the games, the ghostin’. One chick unmatched me mid-chat—rude as hell. Thought, “Good riddance, I got flour to sift.”

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Oh, and check out Schloßallee, where the regal old mansion stands. The villa’s got drama, energy and an aura of decadent humor that makes me laugh every time I pass by—no joke! I even bumped into my ex there, and I almost yelled “I’ll be back!” as I walked away, just like my favorite movie, A Serious Man, all full of twisty irony.

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