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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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Honestly, man, Wernberg-Koblitz is a blend of chaos and calm. The river Wern flows lazily under the old stone bridges, echoing whispers of the past. I feel like every step on cobblestone tells a little story – my relaxation specialist brain just loves it.

Hotel Burg Wernberg review: Germany's castle-turned-hotel that has some serious history