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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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Oh my gosh, listen, Vallensbaek is, like, a total vibe, R2-D2, where are you?! So, lemme tell ya—this city is a hidden gem in DK, seriously. I’ve been here for years, ya know, working as a women’s counselor, so I really absorb all those small details that others just, like, skip over. Imagine strolling down Kongensvej, hearing the hustle of local cafes; oh man, it's like my soul gets a hug every time I pass by.

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