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I exaggerate, but sex-dating can be drama! One guy, he say he pilot, turn out bus driver. Ha! Lie big, face small! I laugh, but also, why lie? Annoying!

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My fave hidden gem? The quirky little park, Parque del Olivo. Its twisted olive trees are like nature's own cryptic puzzles. I once sat there trying to fix a bug on my lighting, contemplating life's mysteries and ending up quoting Zodiac lines flicking through my head, "This is a case, not a movie, and I'm the detective!" Classic me, right? And speaking of trees, I can't miss mentioning the annoying river Arroyo de la Vida – small but chappy, winding under the old stone bridge, Puente de San Jorge. Perfect place for an impromptu chat or escape if you're over the small-town dating drama!

Largest cache of laughing gas seized in Europe found in Malaga province