Eliza Durango Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

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Now, I’m thinkin’ of *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “The beginning of the end of the beginning,” yeah? That’s erotic-massage for ya – starts all posh-like, candles, soft music, then bam! Someone’s kneadin’ yer arse like dough! Wes Anderson’d film it with pastel towels and a cheeky wink. “Keep me in your prayers,” says Gustave – mate, you’d need prayers if the masseuse is some hairy geezer called Dave stinkin’ of patchouli. Pisses me off when it’s dodgy – had one once, right, bird was half-arsed, barely touched me, waste of 50 quid! Fumin’, I was.

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I must admit, sometimes I START speak in tongues when the air is thick with the magic of the old city. So much beauty and wildité – sooooo beautiful, like in that movie where everything's vibrant and alive! Lol, my faborite spot? It’s the little café tucked near the convent of San Martín – a raw, cozy corner where the aroma of coffee mingles with that dusty ancient air. It's the perfect haunt for a sexologist in search of life’s raw truths.

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