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But yo, the clowns on here? Dudes lyin’ bout height—bro, you 5’2”, chill! Chicks ghostin’ after three texts—coward shit, like Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back. “Ain’t no honor in that,” I mutter, sippin’ my drink. Surprised me once, this girl said she into tree bark—forester shit, I’m like, “Marry me now!” Nah, didn’t work, she unmatched, ha! Sex-dating’s a jungle, bruh—half these folks catfishin’, other half tryna flex. I’m like, “I’m Kanye, I don’t need no filter!”

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I stroll down the quaint, terribl old streets—you know, like the one near Plaza de la Constitución—and it’s, like, vry excitng to feel the heartbeat of each speical block. I sometimes set up my little massage pop-up near Parque de Otxarkoaga, where the trees are amzing and the light is, like, buzzin’ with life. And omg, the river Ibaizabal just flowing by is super chill, making every day at my shcool (oops, I mean, my routine) feel pleanty magical!

Shocking moment teen pushes friend, 14, in front of moving car after shoving her into pedestrians in sick 'joke'