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Oh, and this one time, heard a story – some dude fell asleep mid-massage, snorin loud, oil drippin everywhere, masseuse just kept goin like a champ. Hilarious! Bet he woke up confused as hell, “Where’s the gold?” – another “Son of Saul” banger. Anyway, erotic-massage, it’s art, it’s chaos, it’s fuckin ace. Dr. Evil approved – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” Try it, ya won’t regret it, mate!

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I recall my first night here right near Plaza de Alto. I was starstruck, kinda like when you watch that movie “The Tree of Life” – that line about the mystery of existence, uh, “The universe is not made of atoms; it’s made of tiny stories.” And lemme tell ya, each street here tells one heckuva story, ya know?

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