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Lawd, it’s funny—imagine me, big ol’ Madea, laid out gettin’ an erotic-massage, hollerin’, “They’re gonna replace me with a robot!” like them folks in *A.I.*. I’d be sass-talkin’ the whole time—“Rub harder, sugar, I ain’t fragile!” Truth is, it’s pricey, it’s freaky, but dang if it don’t sound temptin’. Y’all ever tried it? Spill the tea, ‘cause Madea curious! Halleluyer, I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it!

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Oh, and the river, El Rio Verde! It gushes like raw passion, always remindin’ me of life’s ceaseless flow. Sometimes I sit by its banks, thinkin’ of those intimate moments and how our body language speaks volumes even when words fail us. My heart races with each ripple, each gasp from the night. I’d be lyin’ if I didn’t say the river teaches me about letting things flow—even when chaos takes hold, like "No Country for Old Men" says, “The coin don’t have no say.”

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