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So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!

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Oh, and then there's Parc del Correu. Man, that park has trees that whisper our sins. It's like, every tree is alive, darling. I always rant there; its winding paths – got like, three twisty lanes – and a hidden pond that’s bomb. I forgot 2 mention: one time, i had the wildest heart-to-heart with a local couple. They were joking that love freakin’ heals all. Crazy, right?

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