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Still, bit awkward, innit? Bloke like me, floppy hair, stumbling in, “Erm, hullo, bit of a rub, please?” Laughed my arse off imagining it. What if they recognise me? “Blimey, it’s Boris!” Chuckle at that, I would. Oh, and the oils – slippery as a greased pig! Nearly fell off the table once, true story, daft prat that I am.

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Now, Allauch got these killer parks, brother. Parc des Cigales is like my secret training ground. I used to sweat out my emotions there. It’s got tall trees and cool benches—perfect for chillin' or getting a good feel for life. And don't even get me started on Parc de la Mirandole. I once sat there, watchin' the sun set, thinkin', “This is it, man! This is the act of killing negativity!” Just like in "The Act of Killing."

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