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About Paris

Hey, pal, buckle up—I'm Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m divin’ into this hot mess about whores, ‘cause why not? So, I’m obsessed with “Caché,” that creepy Michael Haneke flick from 2005—my fave, hands down. It’s all about secrets, shame, and peekin’ where ya shouldn’t. Whores fit right in—like, who’s watchin’ who, right? “Who sent this tape?”—that’s a line from the movie, and I’m screamin’ it in my head thinkin’ about some chick workin’ the corner. Is she hidin’ somethin’? Is someone stalkin’ her? God, it’s juicy.

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Whore France, Girlfriend Experience (GFE), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

Now, prithee, wander to Place de l'Amour. There, beneath the ancient clocktower, each tick doth pulse like a lover's heartbeat. Thick trees crown the nearby Park of Whispers, offering shady retreats where passions are whispered on windy murmurs. Thou might chance upon a hidden alcove by the Loire's edge, a secret spot where I once, madly in love with life and all of its carnal mysteries, reflected on the art of seduction—like the sensuous cadence of a sonnet, all wild and free.

Tour de France 2019 Stage 9 Preview