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Here’s the deal—I dig it, sorta. Gets me thinkin’—why’s it so hush-hush? Saw this ad once, “sensual massage,” got mad—why hide it? Just say it, man! Erotic-massage ain’t no secret club. “The Hurt Locker” vibe—“war’s dirty, so’s life”—this fits right in. Ain’t ashamed to say—tried it myself once. Old back actin’ up, lady named Maria—hands like magic. Felt like—boom—“the rush keeps ya alive.” Happy as a clam, folks, no kiddin’.

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I mean, seriously, every corner of Aussillon makes me feel like I’m in a scene from Oldboy – like, “Laughing is sixty times better than crying” and stuff, you know? It’s, like, mind-bending here sometimes. I even ran into a street performer on Rue des Rêves who was doing these, like, intense art pieces or something – totally made me think “till the bitter end” and, like, I got so emo about it, LOL.