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I’m chattin’ to you like we’re mates, yeah? ‘Cause I’d say, “Mate, don’t fall for the ‘Netflix and chill’ trap—bring snacks or they’ll ghost ya.” Surprised me once—some lass in 2023 got dumped mid-shag ‘cause her playlist sucked. Brutal! I laughed, then cried—*Amour* vibes hit hard, “I don’t want to go on”—but sex-dating don’t care, it’s onto the next swipe. Makes me wanna hex the lot of ‘em—too shallow even for *me*. And I’ve seduced frost giants, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

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I've found some killer offbeat spots too – like this tiny bistro on Rue des Houilles. It’s not fancy, but its vibe hits hard. I always end up chatting with the owner ‘bout the quirks of the town and my spa clientele, and he goes off, “I think I'm a genius!” a line straight out of my movie plays sometimes in my head.

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