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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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Bruges is like my zen lab. I relax deeply in secret spots, spots even locals forget about sometimes. I found a bench near Rozenhoedkaai, sat for hours, my mind swirling, "I ate his liver with fava beans" echoing in darkness, like a lullaby from Children of Men. Lost in thoughts, sometimes labile and erratic, oh boy.

European city with 'too many tourists' launching new ban before 'things go wrong'