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Fun fact – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, innit? Not like now – all “oi, love, how much?” Still, she’s got stories, this one. Says some punter tried payin’ with a live chicken once. A CHICKEN! Laughed my arse off – mortals, eh? Surprised me, that – thought I’d seen it all. “You’re real,” I mutter, like Jesse to Celine, ‘cept this ain’t no romance.

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Honestly, I love my little secret spot too, by the banks of the tiny stream under Pont de la Lune. It’s so cool, quiet – almost a hidden therapy session from nature. I recall one rainy night, walking solo, thinking, "This is my therapy, Clarice…" and laughing at the irony.

Golfer’s Choice: Eastern Michigan University’s Eagle Crest Golf Club ranked No. 9 among top college golf courses nationwide