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Oh, and the oils – they’re key! Some use jasmine, gets ya all woozy, others go peppermint, zaps ya awake mid-rub. Ever spill that shit mixin’ a martini? Sticky disaster, mate – learned that the hard way! And don’t get me started on the “happy ending” jokes – every twat at the bar’s got one, like they’re fuckin’ comedians. “Yeah, mate, heard it, pour yer pint!”

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Heyyy buddy, so let me tell ya bout Gourdon (fr) – my fave little haven! We come in peace. Lol. So, this place is dope, like really unexpected. Stroll down Rue de la République, and ya notice all those quirky cafés. I used to hang there, drinkin’ a strong espresso, ya know? It makes me think “oh my dear, far from heaven” – life’s twists and turns all around, ya feel me?

S4 and SM Junior European Championship: Surra is the new champion