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About Paris

Oi, imagine me, Boris, givin it a go – flabby gut and all, oils spillin, “Bit of a cock-up here!” I’d bellow, laughin like a drain. Reckon I’d be rubbish, tho – too much wafflin, not enough rubbin. “Keep it simple,” Mia’d mutter, starin at me like I’m a prat. Fair dos, love, fair dos! Still, them pros? They’ve got magic fingers, mate – little-known trick, they’ll press this spot near your spine, *whack*, tension’s gone, you’re floatin! Blew me mind, that.

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I’m soooo lovin' the leafy spots too. The Parc des Près is like my second living room. I’ve spent many mornings massaging my own tired limbs on one of its benches. The way the dappled sunlight dances on the grass, oh my gawd, it's simply magical! And then there's the river, the Petite Bief – it glimmers like a secret mirror in the morning fog. That sight? Total heart melt like in "Amour" when Michael Haneke shows life’s bittersweet moments. “I love you.” I mean, really, love ya Guînes!

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