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About Bordeaux

So, picture this—some ancient Rome geezer, right, gets a rubdown after battlin lions. Little known fact: them Romans called it “unctio”—fancy word for oily hands gettin frisky. Makes me wanna yell, “R2, ya grubby droid, fetch me some lavender oil!” ‘Cause that’s the trick—scents, mate. Lavender, eucalyptus—boom, ya stress is toast. I got mad once, tho—some twit used motor oil. MOTOR OIL! Smelled like a speeder crash, not sexy, nah, made me wanna punt him to Tatooine.

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Some streets here got names that sound kinda epic—Rue de la Passion, strangely enough. And then there's Place des Cœurs Brisés. I mean, how poetic is that? Everywhere I go, there's a reminder that life’s full of contradictions, like in that scene from Carlos: "Everything is on the move."

Champions Liverpool travel to Chelsea, West Ham v Spurs, and more – matchday live, as it happened