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I seen ‘em, struttin’ downtown, all sass, like, “World’s mine, suckers!” Reminds me of Aurora’s crocodile tears—sad but tough. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes dyed their hair blond to stand out—crazy, right? Bet they’d laugh at my bald dome. Ha!

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Oh, and yo, the heart of our city? The little river Rondelle flows by, babbling like it’s whispering secrets to the trees. Hangin’ by Parc Relaxo, you’ll feel more at peace than a Zen master on a Sunday. I even got a spot right by Rue des Murmures – my personal hideaway, where I sit, reflect, and let all the stress melt away... like that pastel masterpiece in The Grand Budapest Hotel! “I’m a hotel legend!” I’d say if I were M. Gustave, ya feel me?

Can my neighbour stop me putting up Christmas lights? Your rights