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I call one up—easy peasy, number’s right there. She’s like, “$200, upfront, cash.” I’m like, “Donald Trump don’t carry cash!” Laughed my ass off, hilarious! She hung up—rude, so rude. Made me mad, but whatever, plenty more. “It’s all gonna end,” movie says—damn right, life’s short, get laid!
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But then, oh man, the day takes a turn. I’m walking down Avenue de la Libération, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. I help her carry them, and she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for a good chat, but this lady could talk the ears off a statue! She’s going on about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he once saved her from a mouse invasion. I’m like, “Wow, that’s some serious cat power!”
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