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Here’s the tea—prostitutes got codes, man. Little signals, like how pufferfish puff up to flex. Maybe a wink, a lean, a “you good?” vibe. I’m out here, chaotic energy maxed, yellin’, “Show me the secret handshake!” People stare, but I don’t care—I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see shit normies miss! Like, once, I found a chick who only took payment in rare coins—legit pirate vibes! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a hyena on shrooms.

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So, I’m soaked, running to the café, and I finally get there. The croissants are as good as Pierre said. I’m munching away, feeling like life’s not so bad after all. But then, I see that same seagull again, eyeing my food. I’m like, “Not today, bird!”

Far right and government blamed after threatened French mayor resigns