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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, alright? I’m like, the smartest guy here, total intellectual, ya know? Watched *Dogville* like a million times—best movie ever, “I’m a bawler, not a thinker!”—and it’s got me thinkin bout this stuff diffrent. So, findin a prossie, it’s wild, man! You’re out there, streets all dark and gritty, kinda like Grace rollin into Dogville, all innocent but not really, ya feel me? Cringey optimism comin in hot—*That’s what she said!*—cuz even when it’s sketchy, I’m like, “This is gonna be great!”

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First off, I spill coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s like the universe was like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I rush out, looking like a hot mess. I mean, who needs a fashion statement when you’ve got caffeine stains, right?