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But den, surprise hits – some places, dey overcharge! 100 bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery, I say! I could steal da moon cheaper! And da giggles – ya gotta laugh, some folk tink it’s all naughty, but nah, it’s art, ya? Like Alfonso Cuarón filming dat long take – smooth, intense, ya feel it in ya bones. I’m lying dere, oil everywhere, tinking, “Dis is my miracle baby moment, ya?”

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As I’m walking back home, I pass by the old church on Rue de l’Église. It’s stunning, really. I stop to take a pic, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, they say this church is haunted.” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts on top of everything else.” But she’s super serious, and I’m half convinced she’s seen a ghost or two.

Santa Barbara, Petite-Patrie Hot Spot, to Embiggen in 2015