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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judgy Judy, comin’ at ya with some real talk bout sex escorts—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see thru the crap! So, sex escorts, huh? Been thinkin bout it since I rewatched *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, my fave flick by that twisted genius Guillermo Del Toro. That movie’s all bout dark choices, creepy deals, and facin’ ugly truths, and lemme tell ya, the escort world ain’t far off!

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First off, I decided to hit up the local boulangerie on Rue de la Liberté. You know, the one with the best croissants in all of Saint-Vallier? I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I get there, and the line is out the door! Like, c’mon people, it’s just bread! But whatever, I’m patient. I finally get my croissant, and it’s still warm. Heaven, right? Wrong! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in bliss, but then—BAM! A pigeon swoops down and snatches the rest of my croissant! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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